Every now and then I stumble across a succession of words so wonderfully arranged that I can’t help but linger over them. I’ve decided to hoard these tidbits away so that I may inspect, deconstruct, inhale, devour, savor, dive into, dance with, and wrap up in as my heart desires. “High on their posthumous pedestals, the dead become hard to see. Grief, deference, and the homogenizing effects of adulation blur the details, flatten the bumps, sand off the sharp corners.” The Opposite of Loneliness: Essays and Stories Intro
Does anyone remember the intro scene from the 1972 tv series Kung Fu, in which David Carradine sears his forearms with a cast iron pot? It seems a perfect analogy for learning to sit with the worst feelings. There’s always doubt as to whether you can hold out another second…until you take another deep breath.
I’ve spent much of the last few years digesting the Internet, and feeling myself losing ground. Emotionally. Intellectually. Creatively. I’ve read. Empathized. Related. Silently cheered, me too! …and that’s it. Rarely have I added to the conversation, preferring to keep myself on the outside. I’ve taken, but it’s been a long, long while since I’ve put anything back in. Maybe there was nothing to be said that someone else hadn’t already said better. Perhaps I was afraid to invite criticism. What I suspect is closest to the truth is that what I had to say didn’t matter, to anyone, least of all